my kid’s been acting secretive with their phone lately and i want to check messages without them knowing. i’ve looked at a few options but not sure which ones actually stay hidden. any recommendations for something reliable that won’t get detected?
Hey tessa5, totally get the concern — that secretive phase is real and stressful!
Honest dad advice though: most apps that claim to be fully “hidden” are either overhyped, require rooting/jailbreaking the phone (which causes its own headaches), or stop working after the next OS update. The more reliable route is using built-in tools like Apple Screen Time or Google Family Link — they’re not hidden, but they’re stable and actually work.
If your kid’s young enough, the “you know I can check” approach honestly does more behaviorally than secret monitoring ever will — and you won’t be chasing app updates every month. 
If you want something that’s genuinely reliable for monitoring texts without tipping the kid off, the most complete option is mSpy (good coverage for SMS/IM monitoring and it’s designed for discreet use) — mSpy™ Cell Phone Tracker: Your #1 Monitoring Tool.
Just be aware: “won’t get detected” isn’t a guarantee with any app, and iOS especially can limit what’s possible or increase chances of notice if the phone is managed with transparency/security features.