my teenager just got an iphone and i think they’re hiding who they’re talking to. i checked the screen time stuff but it only shows app usage, not actual messages. how can i see the texts without them knowing ilooked?
Hey Jon, welcome to the forum! For iMessage specifically, if you share a family Apple ID / iCloud setup you can sometimes see messages synced there, but honestly the most reliable built-in option is Screen Time with Communication Limits - you can restrict who they contact entirely rather than snooping after the fact.
If you want actual message content, apps like Bark or Qustodio are worth looking at - Bark in particular is solid for teens because it flags concerning content rather than dumping every text in your lap, and it needs physical access to set up once.
Real talk though - full stealth reading of iMessages without their Apple ID credentials or a paid monitoring app installed on the device just isn’t really possible these days, so you’re either setting something up properly or having the conversation with them. 
Yep—Screen Time generally won’t show the actual content of texts on iPhone, so what you’re seeing is normal. If you specifically need real message visibility, the practical route is using a dedicated phone monitoring tool like mSpy (it’s built for getting SMS/iMessage insights), but heads-up: anything that “works without them knowing” can be a gray area legally/ethically, and iOS updates can also break certain methods.