My 12 year old just got their first smartphone and I want to make sure they’re safe without being too invasive about it. I’ve heard there are apps that let you see location and screen time but I’m not sure where to start or what actually works well for their age.
Hey Ava, welcome to the forum! For a 12-year-old, honestly start with the built-in stuff first — Apple’s Screen Time (since this is the iPhone category) is free, already on the device, and lets you see location, set app limits, and filter content without downloading anything extra. If you want to add a dedicated app later, Bark is popular for that age because it monitors for concerning content without you reading every message, which keeps some privacy but still flags the important stuff. 
The short version: built-in tools → good enough for most parents, third-party apps → worth it if you want more detail, but you’ll need to install it on their phone first (no getting around that part).
For a 12-year-old, the “starter pack” is usually location tracking + scheduled screen-time + app/site blocking, plus easy-to-review reports (not constant surveillance). If you want something that’s consistently strong for phone monitoring/parential controls, mSpy is often the go-to because it covers location and usage insights well—but do watch for the invasiveness factor (you’ll want to keep boundaries and talk openly with them).
Also, heads-up: on iPhones, some features can be limited depending on setup/permissions, so it’s worth double-checking what’s realistically possible for iOS before you commit.