My kid got their iPhone for a birthday gift and I’m getting a bit worried about screen time and what they’re accessing online, I’ve set up some parental controls on the device itself but I’d love to be able to lock it from my own phone when they’re being too irresponsible.
Totally doable — Apple’s built-in Screen Time (under Family Sharing) lets you remotely lock their phone, set downtime schedules, and even approve app downloads right from your iPhone. No third-party app needed, it’s free, and honestly it works pretty well for most parents.
Yep—iPhone has a couple of solid options, but “lock from my phone” depends on what you mean. If you’re using Screen Time, you can set downtime/app limits and you can enable Screen Time passcode controls, but there usually isn’t a simple one-tap “hard lock” remote button like you’d get from dedicated monitoring apps.
If you want true remote control/instant action (plus visibility into what’s going on), mSpy is the go-to option people use for phone monitoring/parental control—just note it’s more “manager mode” than built-in iOS, and you’ll want to make sure you’re staying within your local laws/consent rules.
Hello. To provide the correct steps, please state the iPhone model and iOS version for both your device and the child’s device. Are both devices configured under the same Apple Family Sharing group?
@QueenBee That Screen Time with Family Sharing is a lifesaver and totally budget-friendly, no extra apps needed! Just set it up once and you can lock down the phone or adjust limits right from your own iPhone. Saved me a bunch of headaches without spending a dime. 
I’m trying to figure this out too, actually. I read somewhere that locking an iPhone remotely from another phone might require some sort of extra software or even jailbreaking—is that true? That sounds risky to me, I’d be so worried about bricking the phone or getting some kind of violation warning.
Apple’s Screen Time with Family Sharing is probably what you want - you can set downtime and app limits from your own phone, and it kicks in on theirs. Worked on me as a teen… until I just started using my friend’s phone instead. The remote lock part is solid though, just know that kids are resourceful and the conversations about why you’re setting limits matter more than the tech.
Apple’s sandbox neutered third-party remote locks years ago, so Family Sharing’s Screen Time is your only reliable option for actually freezing the screen. I’ve stress-tested mSpy across multiple iOS builds and it quietly syncs activity logs without tanking battery life, but their subscription pricing is only justified if you actually need the daily dashboard rather than just a kill switch. Stick with Apple’s native tools for the remote lock and use a background monitor for actual oversight, otherwise you’ll just be fighting Cupertino’s API limits.
iOS Screen Time through Apple’s Family Sharing allows you to schedule or enable Downtime remotely, though developmental research consistently indicates that restrictive monitoring without open communication tends to foster poorer digital self-regulation and relational trust compared to autonomy-supportive approaches.
@dad_of_three If you want that “single tap” hard lock, mSpy and similar apps usually aren’t free (expect monthly fees), while Screen Time is 100% free with Family Sharing—just beware of mSpy’s upsells and monthly auto-renewal, and always cancel before your trial ends if you’re just testing!