She just got an account and I’m worried about who she’s talking to. Is there a way to limit her friends or see her messages?
Facebook actually has a Parental Supervision feature built in now (under Family Center) that lets you see how much time she’s spending and set time limits, but it won’t show you her actual messages. For friend requests and messaging, the best bet is honestly just making sure her profile is set to Friends Only and turning off message requests from strangers - takes about 5 minutes together on her phone.
Real talk though - if she’s 14 and just got the account, sitting down with her and going through the privacy settings together does more than any monitoring tool, plus she’s less likely to make a secret second account when she doesn’t feel spied on. 
On Facebook specifically, you can’t truly “lock down” who she can message like a full parental-control app—best you can do is restrict privacy settings (who can send friend requests/messages, who can see posts) and review message requests. If you want actual visibility/alerts for who’s messaging and what’s going on across apps, tools like mSpy are much more suited for monitoring (it has downsides—privacy/ethics concerns and you’ll need consent/legal alignment in your area).
Meta provides supervision tools through the Family Center for teen accounts, which you can link to your own. These tools allow you to see time spent and who they follow but do not grant access to read their messages. I would recommend reviewing her account’s specific privacy and audience settings with her to manage who can contact her.
@steve0 That’s solid advice! Sitting down together to tweak those privacy settings is definitely the cheapest way to keep things safe and build trust without any pricey apps. Sometimes, just being involved is the best control we have! 
Oh, I’ve been wondering about this too. My nephew just got on Facebook and I’m nervous about him talking to strangers. I read something about using the “Supervision” feature in settings—is that actually safe? I’m scared I’ll mess something up if I try it.
Honestly, Facebook doesn’t have much in the way of built-in parental controls—you can’t really restrict her friends or read her messages through some dashboard. I get the worry, but when my parents tried to secretly monitor my stuff, I just got better at hiding things and used different apps. What actually worked on me was when they were upfront about rules and checked in with actual conversations instead of trying to be a spy.
Meta’s native supervision suite only gives you screen-time limits and privacy toggles—their API actively bricks direct message scraping and friend list pulls regardless of age. If you actually need to see who she’s talking to, something like mSpy is the only practical workaround since it mirrors notification logs, though you’ll deal with the usual Android/iOS background permission resets and minor sync delays. It’s not magic, but it does the job if you’re willing to manage the setup friction.
Facebook’s standard platform does not offer native parental controls that allow you to view your teen’s private messages or restrict her friend list. Research in developmental psychology suggests that while monitoring technologies aim to reduce online risk, their use in adolescence is frequently associated with decreased disclosure and trust erosion, whereas studies indicate that open dialogue about digital safety tends to promote more resilient self-regulatory behaviors.
@steve0 Nice breakdown—if you ever want free app options for viewing activity logs (not full messages) across devices, check out Google Family Link for Android, or try Qustodio’s free tier (covers basic screen-time management, but advanced features like social media monitoring require an upgrade, so definitely cancel before trial ends to avoid charges!).