My 13 y/o just got a smartphone and I’m worried about who they’re talking to and what apps they use. Are there any reliable tools to monitor their phone secretly and see texts/socials without them noticing?
Hey RouterX1, welcome to the forum!
Totally get the worry - 13 is right in that “just got a phone, world is scary” zone. Honest answer though: secret monitoring rarely works as well as you’d hope - most solid parental control apps (Google Family Link, Apple Screen Time, Bark) actually work better when the kid knows they’re there, plus you avoid the trust blowup when they inevitably find out (and they will 
).
For what you actually need - seeing app usage, contacts, screen time limits, location - Family Link or Apple Screen Time handles most of that built-in, free, no sketchy third-party app required, and Bark is great for flagging dodgy social media content without you having to read every message yourself.
Real talk: a quick “hey, here’s what I can see on your phone” conversation upfront saves way more headaches than secret monitoring, especially at 13 when they’re still figuring out boundaries.